Saturday 28 December 2013

Retro Ride

My mind wanders during car journeys. On a recent drive to visit family in the north of Scotland I
Old faithful
imagined what would it be like to hop back aboard the steel-framed Peugeot that was my teenage years’ pride and joy? Would the current, approaching-forty me cope without his lightweight, carbon-fibre steed; would my ageing legs cope without a compact?

There was only one way to find out, so I clambered into the dustiest corner of my mother’s garage and returned dragging a relic. It needed new tyres, a pair of pedals would be useful, but otherwise it looked perfectly serviceable.

I don’t always appreciate just how advanced my current ride is in comparison to that early-Nineties, utterly basic bike. It’s also true to say that the teenage me failed to appreciate how lucky he was to reside in such great cycling country. I grew up in Fochabers, a village near the Moray coast and on the edge of Highland Speyside. My extended backyard was packed with quiet roads, cracking climbs and the kind of scenery tourists travel thousands of miles to gaze at.

So it was at Fochabers that this nostalgic experiment would begin and end. I’d opted for one of the aces from my riding repertoire — a 60-mile loop around Malt Whisky country with almost 4000 feet of ascent.

Friday 13 December 2013

Not Just For Christmas

PERFECT FOR ANYONE — EVEN WEIRDOES

The Breakaway would make the perfect gift for any cyclist  — especially those who can read —  and non-cyclists (weirdoes that they are) would love it too.

Well I would say that, wouldn’t I?

Yes, I would, but it happens to be true. There is a lot of cycling in The Breakaway, and a lot of cycling up mountains (roughly equivalent to three ascents of Everest). There’s also a lot of humour — laughter inspired by heatstroke, oxygen debt and the likes of The Goonies, bicycle-eating Italian goats, Marmot smuggling, Goose from Top Gun, Minxy the mutant Playmate, and more.

Life’s not all giggles and energy jells though, and neither is The Breakaway. There are some serious issues in there too, such as my struggle to overcome grief whilst attempting to overcome hors category mountain passes, and dealing with a friendship that was balanced on a rocky precipice like the bus at the end of The Italian Job.

HOW TO SEND AN E-BOOK AS A GIFT

“Okay, I’m sold”, I hear you cry, “but how to gift the cyclist/reader in my life an e-book?”

Simple. If you're in the UK the easiest way is to send a gift card by email. Make it out for the amount of the book you wish to gift (mine, at £3.99, of course), add the lucky recipient's email address and then type a suitable message in the box before you click buy – something like: “The Breakaway – Cycling The Mountains of the Tour France sounds like it's right up your allez.”

And don't forget to include a link to the book of your choice – there's one for The Breakaway here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Breakaway-Cycling-Mountains-France-ebook/dp/B00BO9LLG8

If you're in America and using Amazon.com then it’s even easier — just find the book you want to gift and click the Give as a Gift button (you Yanks don't know how easy you've got it!).

WHAT ABOUT ME?!

What if you don’t know a cyclist/person who can read? Then gift a copy to yourself, of course (and make finding some cyclist/more intelligent friends your top new year’s resolution).

You don’t even need  to own a Kindle. Download the Kindle reader app and you can Breakaway on a desktop, laptop, tablet, smartphone, and maybe even a teapot (or perhaps not).

You’ve had a tough year, you’ve been a very good boy/girl/hermaphrodite — you deserve a copy of The Breakaway.

But remember, this book is not just for Christmas. If you’re a slow reader it might well last through to the end of the Ardennes Classics.

Saturday 7 December 2013

Dinner On The Pass

Cycling and food are two of passions of mine. Sometimes I wonder if the main reason for the former is to create a calorie deficit that excuses my intake of the latter.

View from the hot seat
I recently had the privilege of enjoying Dinner on the Pass in The Sheraton hotel's One Square kitchen. The cycling equivalent of this foodie experience would be to ride in a pro-team car that's driving  alongside the peloton: sitting at the pass, watching the kitchen work at full steam; the brigade of chefs in perfect synchronisation, gathered around their leader, selflessly doing his bidding, preparing the ground for a team's grand victory (and at the feed zone the musettes held more promise than energy gels and rice cakes).

The road book
In this peloton, Sheraton Executive Chef, Malcolm Webster, is patron, running his kitchen in a manner that's surprisingly calm yet clearly effective: beware fans of the swearing and sweating kitchen cliché, you might be disappointed.

In fact, my previous experience of a hotel kitchen was a stint, many moons ago, as a kitchen porter in Edinburgh’s George Hotel – an experience of grovelling, sweating, anger-filled heat that put me off catering-as-profession for good. The experience was something on the same grovelling, gruesome level as Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London. Suffice to say the plungeur's life was not for me.

Prolougue
Chef Webster's kitchen is the antithesis of that, a place that employs the cooking equivalent of Team Sky's
marginal gains philosophy. There's no naked gas flame here, only inductive stoves and hobs (not to mention the Green Egg barbecue, the steamers and sous vide machines). Huge ceiling fans and ducts suck out the heat and pump in cool, calming air. Orders come through on a printer and each section gets a copy so the atmosphere is quiet, minus the barked call-and-answer routine we've all seen done to death on Masterchef — why do things they way they have always been done when there's a better, modern method? Whisper it: yes chef.

A fast stage
The queen stage
So as I sat at the shining marble-slab of a pass, feeling like a cross between Greg Wallace and Mr Creosote, Chef Webster dished up a six-course menu that was perfectly balanced, like the route of week-long stage race.


We began with a prologue of beetroot and Connage crowdie, and then sprinted towards the coast and an oceanic Partan bree. A well-judged intermediate stage of barbecued mackerel led back inland to the Queen stage of turbot with oxtail (a dish I will dream about for years to come). The leader’s jersey was challenged by a serving St Bride’s Farm duck, before the short but satisfying penultimate étape of Smoked Cuddy’s Cave cheese and quince.

The dénouement was a final flourish dessert called Pudding on the Pass, like laps of the Champs Elysees, had Salvador Dali been the original Paris city-planner (imagine using a spoon to pick your way through the remains of a sweet shop that's been dropped from a great height, and you’re only halfway to getting it).

Yellow-jersey challenger
Chef Dali adds a flourish
Chef Webster not only dished up amazing food, he didn't seem to mind my constant interruptions and enquiries. He was asked about everything from poaching eggs (they gently steam theirs in the shell before cracking them into water to maintain that perfect shape) to his opinions on Professional Masterchef, and answered with a the kind of passion and knowledge that was evident in his kitchen's end product.

By the time we stumbled out into the night, I was grinning inanely and doing my best to keep thoughts from the coming day's calorie-crunching bike ride.